Cope
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: Written for the mass kink meme. After an accident occurs when Liara gives birth to their first child, Shepard must learn that even doing everything right as a hero cannot ultimately prevent death.


**Shepard/Liara What if...**

_So we always see Liara's life after Shepard's death. What about if Liara died? How would Shep cope?_

_Liara could've died during childbirth, during hammer, killed in a freak accident, etc._

_I'd prefer FemShep, but broShep is fine too._

_Oh god, I think I just made myself cry...if this goes unfilled, I won't mind lol_

* * *

Shepard had begged, but no one had listened.

There was something worse than the Crucible, than watching flames fall to the ground, of stepping into that light, of losing friends that had been sacrificed to the war and in the name of compassion, of the greater good. The real end.

No fight to be had here, truly, and no enemy that could be vanquished.

The Commander had won no victory. Please, oh, please, undo it. Let the blood fly backward and into her. Further back, when the pain had begun, undo leaving her side. Bring movement back and let the blue eyes flicker. She was right there, close enough to touch, how could she be dead?

Someone eventually separated them. The Commander from it, the body, because that's all that was left of Liara in this galaxy. Taken even their hands apart, and that was cruel, too cruel. All of_ her_, gone. Left, to go where Shepard had been before, but had been able to return from. Bring her back. No one had ever asked the soldier what death had been like. How could someone like the Commander still be alive while she was not? Why had someone let Shepard live but take away Liara, why let them believe there would be a life together, why give them any chance?

Let Liara be spared what Shepard had experienced. Let her find something beyond this life, and not that choking, the euphoria and knowledge of what was happened, and then nothingness. Being her back, but no one was_ listening _because Liara was still unmoving.

We all die, but not you, never you.

There is only crying of a child that could not understand. Shepard had been the first to hold her, this daughter, raw and naked, and the umbilical cord cut with a knife borrowed from Tali. A tiny thing, no longer safe in the warmth, how they had slept spooning and the baby between them. Little blue children. Smiles, and discovering each other over and over again. Nothing but each other in the meld Shepard would have gladly spent an eternity in. The sweetest time, the peace that Shepard had exchanged lives and untold suffering for. A name, we never decided on a name.

A daughter.

Still wearing armor, a helmet that had to be removed, I was so_ late_, blood dried and flaking and not red. Forehead finding a wall, pressed into a cold wall. Swallowing, and feeling it, a black tide, rising to consume. Sinking to knees. Cold wall. I can feel this and nothing else. Eternity and universe was only the pain in hamstrings and a burning face pressed to ice. Once, there was a person that gave peptalks and could console others, but Shepard was not that person, had not been ever since coming back and hearing that she was slipping away and that there wasn't anything to do for her.

Tugging, leading, shaking, someone else was here, there had been others but they had been no help, voice of people that had once been known. You have a child, Shepard, look at me. Look at her. Would you open your eyes?

I held her as she died. Do not ask anything more of me.

There would be memories to treasure, Liara had told Shepard. To recall, as loved ones passed on. Tapestry of the galaxy. We all die, Shepard.

Open your eyes, this is your daughter, you are still alive and she needs you.

Please.

Someone talking, people moving and whispering as they watched this performance. Now Shepard will get up and save the day somehow and the curtains will fall. Fake and lies, as Liara would never leave. The wall is here and the baby cries and there is the smell of blood but eventually Shepard will wake up and these tears will look foolish. Don't let this happen. I always win, so this can't be. Oh, please, listen to me. The worst joke.

I died with the Reapers and she is still alive and save elsewhere. Keep your eyes closed.

Please.

No.

All of this had to be happening to someone else. This is not happening. None of this. There had been no such wonder in Shepard's life, no laughter and joy and kisses and a past and a future. No pale eyes, taking the spectre in. No warmth on this dead world that didn't exist. You don't exist, none of this is real. There had been no bondmate, no ship, no saving of anyone, no hand reaching out in the dark to comfort. No decision made that should have never belonged to Shepard. No one had found Shepard. A hand had never cupped this cheek and asked if Shepard wanted to be a father. This was all the dream of the already dead.

Someone also took the pistol on Shepard's hip away, thoughtless and quick.


End file.
